FAQ

Q: I have some personal issues. Can I contact you?
A: No. I have done that on my Dutch site. Everyday I received mails. It took me several hours a day to answer those, because many things cannot be said in a few sentences. And in almost all cases, I did not get any thank you's after (long) replies. So because of that, there was not much time left for my other work. So I had to cancel that. And English is much more used worldwide. I am not a therapist; I explain things. With the info on my site and videos, you can help yourself.

Q: I do not agree with some things you are saying.
A: Well, this is possible. There is much disagreement with self improvement / psychology. I have had many discussion about my sayings. Especially from first year psychology students. It always went like this. They contacted me > we discussed > at the end I had so many arguments, they could not disagree anymore. But they did not admitted this. They just stopped responding. This is costing me too much time also. So I ended this too.

It is not easy to accept if someone has a different opinion. Many do not want to hear things they do think themselves. Most people have learned things during growing up and they now think it is the ultimate truth. Very often this is the case, but also very often it is not. I also had to change my opinion for several things after thinking, learning, writing and observing. Most do not do that and that is why most do not change to higher levels. By higher levels I mean feeling better, understanding others, avoiding problems, better parenting, making others feel better, etc.

Changing is hard. That is the reason why many people do not change. It is scary. But if you do not change you will be the same for the rest of your life. In other words, you do not grow. This means if you have self esteem issues, relationship problems, aggression, etc, you will always have them, because if you do not change (to better levels), your situation does not change.

Q: Why is there no contact option?
A: Because of my two first answers. Many are struggling with issues and not much good help is available. I know, many are struggling with personal issues. Much more as you think. Most adults have lost their children's happiness because of life's and personal problems. But it can be reverted. That is the reason for this site. Some will contact me because they need personal advice. But I do not have the time for this.

Q: Can I change?
A: Yes. And you have no idea how much.

Q: Are you not overestimating yourself?
A: No.

I do not know everything.
I am not saying things I do not truly believe.
I have thought a lot.
I watch other people very often. I can see how they feel and how people deal and respond to each other. You probably do not do that, because you have your own issues that require attention. There is a logic in human behavior and responses.
I have changed a lot myself. I am on some kind of stair that keeps getting higher. And with every step, I understand more.

Q: How can you help me?
A: Read my site once in a while. If certain things gives you a good feeling, it does mean I have pushed the right button. But a one time thing is not enough. You have to push this button until it stays on (by reading it several times). Learning new things is a lot easier. Changing is very hard, because you are used to a certain way of thinking. If you have low self esteem, you have had this for many years. Many are convinced they are not worth much. This wrong and you have to change that. Improving the way you think about yourself, takes a while. A one time good thought will fade out after a while and you will fall back to the old you. Read the helpful info and videos often. Print it out if you want. If a certain sentence helps you, hang it above your bed or a post it next to you computer.

Reprogramming yourself (yes it is possible) takes a while. Think about the things I am saying. Give certain things a try if you want. If you have problems with your children, watch the parenting course here and videos on this site (again). Write things down.

Q: Will there be more?
A: Yes. On a regular basis there will me more pages and videos. Subscribe to my newsletter if you want to be notified for updates.

Q: Why is there a donate option on your site?
A: I am creating this site for helping others. I am not making and updating this site for me. This is costing me a lot of time, because it is not coming from other sources like books. My brain has to figure out things. Don't mind doing this and I like it, but time spending on this, means not spending time on my favorite thing, making music. And I have other things to do.

I am not selling things, prefer not to have ads on my site and do not get feedback, as explained above. So my writings are a none inspiring way of spending my time. So donations are a motivation for me. Maybe you do like this, but I want to eat once in a while and pay my bills.

I will write without donations, but not putting other things aside for it. My music is my future.

Don't feel obligated to make a donation. You don't have to. You can visit my site as often as you want / need. I will still like you. Not keeping track of this. It is only for the ones who want to contribute.

Q: Is this site your number one thing in life?
A: Oh no. Enjoying life and making music are the most important things for me (see links on my site). I have been postponing making music for many years. Don't like this. So now it is time for music. It will be feel good music, so maybe this can help you too.

Q: Are these FAQ really asked?
A: No. I made them up myself. Because I have some idea what could be the questions.