Improving Yourself


"Nobody cares about me"


This is a bit special page. Somehow I got on several Twitter pages from self cutters and the ones with related problems. I knew some have very low self esteem. But it is much worse as I thought. Probably because they want to vent their problems and anonymity, they are very open here.

This hurts me. Nobody should think these kind of things about themselves. And you know what, most of the time the ones with these problems are very nice, helpful and decent persons.

If you think nobody cares about you, read. Probably not completely true, but most of the time it is about right. Not because there is something wrong with you, but most people are struggling with their own things. Because of that they are not very interested in other people's problems. Would you be very interested in someone's physical pain if you are hurt yourself?

Many (so not all) men and boys care only about themselves. Because they think the world rotates around them. Most of them don't have thoughts about "who cares about me." They think "I am tough, strong and I don't need anybody." It is part of the manhood.

Most of the time it is a female thing.

Most women and girls are struggling with their self esteem. And some men and boys have an issue with this. Deep inside they are all thinking "nobody cares about me." Most of the time they don't say it, but believe me, they are thinking it. And many of them think there is only one person in the world who isn't worth living and that is me.

So believe me, the next girl or woman you are looking at, has probably problems with her self esteem. It varies from a bit to a lot. I think over 90 percent has self esteem issues. You don't notice it, because this is hidden deep inside. All looks fine, but it isn't. They have build a wall around them and this is to avoid being hurt (again). If you keep a distance, you are less vulnerable.

The males who were not raised by the idea "You have to be a real man", can have self esteem issues too.

Even the good looking ones have issues.

If you think that pretty girl or woman has it all and she can't have doubts about herself. "She gets all the attention she needs." Well, probably your are wrong. Probably because she is pretty she has more problems. Very often she is approached by males who let her believe they like her as a person.

But about the same amount of time she will be disappointed at the end. The more this happens, the more closed she will be. I think the pretty ones will be hurt more often.

It looks like the boy / man "cares" about the pretty girl / woman. He cares about something, but it isn't her (most of the time). The prettier she is, the more he "cares."

What makes it worse.

If you have doubts about yourself and nobody to talk to or someone who is taking you serious (as a person, not a pretty female), your doubts can grow to unhealthy levels, like weight issues and even worse.

If a girl or woman has self esteem issues, the absence of dependable friends / family or someone who is capable of listening, will strengthen the self doubt. Then thoughts like "nobody cares about me" will pop up more. With this state of mind, recovering will not be easy. Because one is about to give up. It is like sitting in a deep well. You have to climb to get out.

And because "nobody cares about me" you don't care about yourself anymore. Maybe you loose weight or start cutting yourself. Every excessive behavior is because of wanting attention. Showing breast, bragging, showing of, dressing up in bright pink, etc. It is all about wanting attention, because she hasn't accepted herself as a human being.

Why are you doubting yourself?

I can assure you there is nothing wrong with you. During life this self doubt has slowly grown into your way of thinking. And now you are starting to believe it. Find the source and you can improve. The reason you think you are worthless (or a bit less) is because you haven't been taking serious by your parents (enough).

Even without abuse there could still be a lot of wrong things. Dominating or neglecting parent(s) can do a lot of damage to self esteem. Most of the time parents think they are doing the right things, but subconsciously they are sending the message "you are not capable of thinking, let me do that for you."

After a while you start believing they are right and that is where doubting yourself starts. But your parents did not do this on purpose. They thought they were doing the right things. Probably they were raised like that.

Many do not realize what they are doing.

Parents have no idea how much damage repeatedly saying "you are stupid" will do to a child. It will start doubting him or herself. Young children believe parents. So if parents letting their children often know they are stupid, children are starting to accept that. A child can do stupid things, but is not stupid ! Big difference.

How to get up again.

  • Start by recognizing how your parents were / are treating you. If they are dominant ("you do or think like I want you to do"), neglecting you, or not listening to you, or always disagreeing with your opinions, you will have mental issues for sure. This is your source of self esteem problems.
  • Second, start liking yourself again. Get yourself in shape if needed. If you are skinny, start eating. And visa versa. Would you like to stay at the bottom of the well?
  • Third, start thinking what you want. Not easy, but don't give up. Don't think there is a goal in life. You are here; that is all. You have to make something of it. Nobody is doing it for you. You can find something you like. From creating music to whatever you want. Read my other pages.
  • Fourth, probably nobody is going to knock on your door to solve all your problems. You will have to do it yourself. You can get help (from my site for instance), but it is up to you if you get out of hell / the well. I can give you a rope, but you have to do the climbing yourself.

So if there is still some fight left, start fighting for yourself. I wasn't the happiest person myself when I was younger. But I recovered and now I am on the opposite of the happy balance. And I am never going back.

You are not alone.

So don't think you are the only one who has social / mental problems. Believe me, most people have nobody to talk to. They can talk plenty about superficial stuff, but the personal things stay inside. Because dependable and good listeners are rare.

You don't open up anymore to someone if he / she hurts you. Does this happen with several persons, you don't open up at all anymore. Because you don't want to be hurt anymore. It is a defense system for your inner being.

Think this over. Read it once in a while if you recognize things. It can be your page out of the well.

Regards and hope it helps.

Leo Krans

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