Improving Yourself


Do not judge too soon


Don't judge your child because you probably know what has happened if you see a problem. This is also something you have to think about first, before acting, when dealing with children. Do not judge immediately if you see something wrong with your children. There is always a change something different has happened, instead of your first conclusion. If your partner comes home with a torn jacket, you ask what has happened. But if it is your child, you probably instantly think he or she must have been careless. Very often this is the case, but you cannot be sure. The only right way is to ask what has happened.

Even if it has happened several times, every time you ask what has happened. Then you can punish or get angry if needed. If it is carelessness, your child could pay (a small amount) for a new jacket. Or it has to do shores. It has to experience, being careless has consequences. But that is a different story.

Be careful with judging. You never know what has happened (unless you have seen it happen). The video has an example of an obvious thing which was different as it looked.

Wrong judging on someone is also one the things you could do wrong without realizing it. It looks little for you, but if you are on the receiving end of being judged wrong, you will feel it as a big thing. Probably you have had these experiences yourself. Being criticized but you didn't do it. It feels very bad. You can avoid that with three little words: "What has happened?" Even if you cannot suppress you anger, ask first. Otherwise you could make a big mistake.

Same for this as with several other topics: There is no age when certain things start to hurt. A two year old will also get a bad feeling if it is criticized if he or she has not done it.

So sit back in your chair. Think about it. If you think I am right, you have grown. And because of this, you can prevent many wrong treatments of your children. And because of that, your children will have no negative feelings towards you. Because this will happen if you accuse someone who didn't do something.

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