Improving Yourself


High level punishment for your children


The next thing, is mainly for families with not too much problems. If there a lot of tension, this could not work, because it is based on fairness. Fairness is most of the time gone in high problem families. Here is too much aggression, frustration and maybe even hate. This has to come down first.

Has a child misbehaved and it could have known, it could be punished.  If you are open minded, you could negotiate about what kind of punishment. First play on their guilt and honesty, like "You could have known, right." If he or she says yes, you have a good foundation.

Really, then you could ask your child what kind of punishment would be fair. If it comes with an acceptable answer, you go along. If it is too light, you say it is not enough. Your child can double it or you could. This all can be done without getting mad or raising your voice.

Somehow your child is going to like this way of punishment, because it gives a child responsibility for their behavior. It has to feel it has deserved the punishment and the punishment is appropriate. And the little adult is treated as a responsible person. At that moment he or she is growing. And you have not created tension.

If your child is not capable of admitting being wrong, or has no idea for a punishment, you have to do it. A next time you try again.

Also read the criticizing your child article, because it is related.