you are wrong
Being a nice family
Dealing with problems
Enjoy the moment
Get rid of insecurity
Goal in life
How we develop (08-21-17)
Influence from your parents
Influences on children
Learning new things
"Nobody cares about me"
Relation, who fits to who
Stop hurting females
What is respect
What is self esteem
What is your tension level
Why do children say why
Women need to talk
With tension level I mean how tensed you are. Maybe you realize how tensed you are, but probably not. This is because you are used to how you are. If you are always tensed, there is a fair change you think you are not tensed, because you are always tensed. You think your state of mind is normal. You could even think you are relaxed.
If you are sometimes tensed, there is a larger change you realize you are tensed sometimes. This is because you can compare. You could feel the difference between being tensed and being more relaxed. But if you are not paying attention to you different state of minds, you will not realize it. If you say to yourself "I am tensed" you are aware of your state of mind. That is a good thing. Not the tension, but realizing it. But many are not aware on how they feel. If you are always tensed, you do not realize you are tensed.
So because you are not always realizing tension, you need something else that reveals tension and the amount of tension. And that important thing is: How you respond to problems and other problematic issues. Will get back on this. Maybe a doctor could measure it in your blood. But a doctor will think you are weird if you want to know your tension level. Probably he can't even do it.
So your responses to problems and negative things, is probably the only and best source for figuring out your tension level. And this is always available. And you can use it all day long.
How you respond to problems, reveals your tension level. The ones who are very tensed, explode to almost everything. The ones who are very relaxed, do not seem to get mad for anything. You will see a lot of that with children, especially the young ones. Something fails. They do it again. Fail again. Do it again. Etc. All without any signs of frustration.
If you say to a very tensed person he has the most ugly shoes you have ever seen, you could get major problems. Some could even shoot you for that. If you say the same thing to a relaxed person, you probably get a smile back and a shoulder raising.
Compare it to a balloon. If it is completely relaxed, in other words empty, you can do whatever you want and nothing will happen. You can hit it with a hammer, or run your car over it. There will be no explosion. But if the balloon is tensed, it will explode. The more tensed it is, the bigger the explosion and the less is needed. A needle will do. Nothing will happen if the balloon is relaxed.
We are a bit the same. The more tensed, the stronger and faster we respond. Then you say, he or she is easily upset. This is a better criterion as thinking how you are feeling. Once again, this is because you are used to how you are. You think it is the normal state of mind. This includes your tension. If you are always tensed, you probably do not realize you are tensed. You need another criterion. And that is how you respond to problems.
Maybe I can give numbers to make it more clearer. It goes from 1 to 10. 1 is very relaxed. 10 is the level where you explode for almost everything. A fly on the window. Your shoe lace brakes. An ant is walking on your car and you are carrying a hammer. On level 1, you need a lot before you lose your good mood. If you are a 1, and you face many problems and negative issues, your tension level goes slowly up. On a very bad day, you could go to 10.
If you bully a dog, every dog will bite you if you keep on going. Even the nicest ones. It only takes longer. The tension level goes up to biting level. Don't try this at home. You will regret it and it is not nice.
Being hungry has influence too. If your blood sugar level is low, you are more tensed. But this is a nature thing. If an animal is hungry, it is more aggressive to get food. It is a survival thing. It is not the same as being mentally tensed for us humans. But being hungry does raise the tension level. The most dangerous person is someone who is frustrated by life and hungry.
Being very tensed could be because of a bad day. But most of the time it is frustration of life. And this is a very serious problem, because it hast been there for many years and it will stay forever if you do not work on it. It is a serious problem because it influences your happiness level. Being happy, means not being tensed. And reversed, being tensed means being unhappy. The more of the one, the less of the other. You cannot be tensed and happy.
Being tensed and aggression are related. But this depends on the personality of the person. An insecure person does not become aggressive easily, because he or she is too soft for that. Most of the time it is a female thing. With most men, tension increases the chance of aggression. It also raises the changes of abuse. A relaxed man does not hit a child. He is not in the mood for that. Only the very tensed ones have this option. Because of the tensions, he does things he usually does not do.
That is why you should start paying attention to your tension level. It spoils your happiness and you could start doing things you do not want to do. And the level of communication goes down if you are tensed. It can cause problems you do not already have.
Being a bad looser, means being a tensed person. Nobody likes to loose, but becoming aggressive because of loosing is overreacting. The overreacting is because of the already existing tension. The loosing is the needle sting to a full blown balloon as described earlier. A relaxed person will not be a bad looser. He or she could even smile about it. And a relaxed person could even let others win to let them feel good. A tensed person will never do this. He or sometimes she even wants to beat a little child. Only a relaxed person is a good looser.
For direct improvement of your tension level:
For the long term, figure out why you are tensed. There is always a reason. Having a bad day is easy to see. But if you are always tensed and close to aggression, you are struggling with things. And tensed persons cause problems with others, because they are tensed. Tension leads to overreacting. You have to work on your tension level, because usually this does not improve by itself. For this see my other info at my site and videos. Don't forget, there is a reason for being tensed. Maybe my free info can give you a good starting point. Otherwise you will be missing too much happiness in your life.