Improving Yourself


Why do children say why all the time


Because they have to. This thing pops up in their brains. You cannot stop this. Because we think, we want to know why. This is a brain thing. Because of "why", we can understand things and grow.

If we would not wonder about things we cannot develop. With question you get answers. Every answer is a growing thing.

The "why" thing, is the same for adults. If you see something you don't understand or something mysterious, you want to know why.

That is why you are curious watching magicians. He is doing things you don't understand and you want to know how and why. "Where is that elephant. It was there." Because you don't understand, you want to know why and how.

Try to understand the "why" of a child.

Because you as an adult already know a lot, you will have less "why." You know why there are stars at the sky at night, so you are nor curious for that anymore. But a child has just arrived at this world, so it doesn't know a lot of things. So try to understand that.

Put yourself in the place of a child. A star in the sky is something mysterious for a child because nobody has told the child what it is. Because of that, it wants to know what is it, how it got there, if it goes out in the morning, etc.

"Why" is development.

If you want to develop your child, answers the "why's" as much as possible. It does not want to tease you. It just wants to know. I know, questions can be endless. But help children as much as possible.

If they want to know about stars, give them a book about it. A library is perfect for that. The most favorite places of a child are the toy shop, bookshops and libraries. Young children are like sponges, they want to absorb everything they meet. Watch them if you are there; they forget everything else.

If you want to shut up the "why" give them books. They will be quit (for a while). But answers will result in the next questions. This is developing as it should be.

Answering is respect.

If you do not answer your children's questions (up to a certain point), you do not respect them. A child wants to learn and you are withholding that. Developing a child, means answering the many questions. Watch families. The ones who talk to their children and answering their questions, are the nice and relaxed families.

Why chores.

If children are asked to help out at home, they could ask "why." Nothing wrong with that. Imagine yourself versus your superior or your parents. The wrong solution for a parent is "because I say so." This will create tension for sure.

If you explain, they don't mind helping out and if you bring it the right way, they are going to like it. If children feel there is a need for helping (the family) and it is appreciated, you are doing it the right way. So say why.

How to get mutual respect.

Children are not slaves, but small human beings who want to be respected too. Explaining why, is showing respect. If you have doubts about it, give it a try and see how much smoother things go.

Don't worry, you won't loose control over your children if you explain or ask, instead or ordering them. It is the opposite; they will appreciate you more as a parent. You respect them and because of that they respect you.

If there are no "why's".

There is something wrong with a child that doesn't ask why. The only reason for that is, the parents have suppressed that. If you tell your kid to shut up all the time or show aggression when questions are asked, a child will stop asking things.

A child who is afraid of asking questions, or has low self esteem, will loose its curiosity. This is not good. Curiosity is the foundation of development. Curiosity is the reason for scientific breakthroughs.

What is "why" leading to.

Someone was thinking, "why is it happening like this." Because of that solutions came up. "Why did that apple fall."
To get a bit more deeper into this, the brain is not good at experiencing things without explanation. It cannot store it in your brain. It keeps floating through brains (you keep thinking about it) until it is explained.

For instance a magic trick on television just before bedtime, could keep you awake, because of "How did he do that." Why do you think a television series ends very often with cliffhanger (an unsolved big thing). Because it is unresolved, it keeps hanging in your brain. That is the reason why you want to see the next episode.

This all is the reason for a child asking "why." Don't stop this.