Improving Yourself


Women need to talk, otherwise they explode


Not the real bang, but for many it feels that way. Talking is a way to release pressure. If talking is not possible for woman or girls, the pressure goes up.

Woman like to talk. That is why woman often have several female friends. So they can talk for hours and lowering their mental pressure. They want to get it out of their system.

Women don't mind talking to men, but most men are not very good at listening to women. Especially when it is talk about "nothing." Most men do not want to listen for hours for what has happened during their day.

If they don't have a problem with listening, they like it short and to the point. Men are really not capable of hearing the very long version of what has happened at the grocery today.

But women want to blow of steam, like a pressure cooker. Talking is lowering their mental pressure. The talking itself is more important as what she is talking about.

Why women want / need to talk.

Let me explain what the real reason is for long "not saying anything" talk. Many, if not most woman and girls, are struggling with themselves. They are having problems with their self esteem. But most of the time they don't talk about this. This is too sensitive and they are afraid of being hurt again.

Women and girls have been hurt many times in their lives. They don't want more. If you are not showing vulnerability, you cannot be attacked. Locking your doors and closing the deeper you, is not that much of a difference. You want to keep the wrong things at a distance. It is a defense system.

Not opening up, is fear.

Many women and girls have the fear of not being taking serious. If they show their inner fear, they can be attacked again. It is like the protection shield from a starship in movies. If it is up, you cannot be hurt.

That is why many if not most women and girls are not so good at asking someone out. They are afraid one says no, and rejection is an attack on their self esteem. "You see, nobody want me."

Females need to feel comfortable.

Only if a female feels comfortable, she starts talking about what is really bothering her. Some don't care and elaborate everything, even of television. But most play the defensive role. Trust is the main issue. The more trust, the more she opens up.

Reason for divorce.

Here is one of the main reason for marriage problems and divorce: The communication is wrong. Women want to talk what is really bothering them, but out of fear they only talk about the non personal things. The man is not really interested and the more she talks about "nothing", the more a man tries to avoid this.

He can do this by staying away from home, watching TV, going against it and other fleeing options. In other words, she want to talk and he doesn't want to listen.

As said before, the woman does want to talk about her real problems, but if she doesn't feel taken serious, she is not opening up. So she doesn't talk about the sensitive stuff as a start and because the man doesn't want to listen to the superficial stuff, the conversation never gets to the deeper and real problems.

Talking about non personal things, is a start. If this doesn't go well, the deeper problems will never be revealed.

What if nobody is listening.

Not listening, always disagreeing, revealing her problems to others, laughing at her and other stuff saying "I am not taking you serious", means the distance between man and woman will get larger. It is going to a divorce.

This is also the territory of adultery. The main reason why most women find somebody else is, "he takes me serious, he listens to me, he is nice to me."

Adultery for men is because "she doesn't whine so much", but is also "a real men thing."

Hard and ruthless is also a defense.

Some women play the "I am so tough" role. But this is an act and a way to survive in this world. But that is not the real she. If a woman is cold, ruthless and fearless, there is a very insecure woman hidden very deep inside. Very often, so not always, you will find them in business surroundings.

This hard woman is not the same as a strong woman. A real strong woman looks also strong, but doesn't have the coldness of the actress playing strong. A real strong woman can also be nice and friendly. An strong acting woman is cold and ruthless all the time.

Social media talk.

Texting is very popular these day, but females are in the lead. It is a new way of getting things off their minds. The same here, it is not about her real problems, but better chatting about her new clothing then not talking and piling up tension. It is a new way of talking. But the result is the same. She can't get rid of her real problems.

Good talk.

In case you start thinking I don't like women and girls, you misunderstood me. I do like them most of the time. In general they are very nice, friendly and helpful.

And no, I don't have a problem if they speak their mind and do not agree with me. I only wish they would have more faith in themselves. And I would like to see the cold women invert to nice versions of females again. A part of women do not have enough faith in themselves and the other part has become hard and unpleasant.

As long as men don't take women serious, good communication and a marriage is very limited or even not possible. If a woman can't talk because she is not taken for full, she will explode one day. This can be from arguing, fighting, adultery to divorce.